when it rains it pours, pt. 2

"he is jealous for me"

for those of you who love suspense,

i hope thirty-six hours was enough.

for those of you who don't,

i'm sure those numerous hours felt like an eternity. 

so on with it.

two sundays ago,

my world began to crash around me.

now when i say crash it isn't necessarily that dramatic,

but that is definitely how i reacted for the first few hours.

without to many pointless details,

the bottom line is,

i lost my Mary Kay $$$ bag.

with everything in it.

cash,

checks,

credit card info,

customer profile slips,

order forms,

and jewelry.

with the help of my room mates & husband,

we scoured the apartment for hours,

while also calling all two places i was during the day.

no luck.

i kept praying about it,

and felt like i was loosing my mind.

i am the type that can recall the exact location i left something,

but this $$$ bag was lost in translation.

i hadn't recalled seeing it for twenty-four hours.

let me just tell you,

the tears were crashing like a waterfall.

to the point i couldn't even get on the phone & tell my mama what was happening.

at first i thought it was the LORD violently closing a door in my life.

BAM! no more Mary Kay for you.

but as i began to journal & cry & read & cry,

i began to realize what really was the lesson.

in the previous two months my time with the LORD was lacking.

fellowship was almost nil, 

and i was doing well if i prayed throughout the day. 

this was the LORD saying,

"EXCUSE ME!I miss my child & am jealous for you!"

He was calling my name,

and was tired of doing it in a whisper.

if you ask my husband,

i was a blubbering fool.

a hot mess.

all i could do was weep & listen to "How He Loves".

the lyrics just shattered me.

he is jealous for me,

the GOD in heaven is jealous for me,

he is jealous for you.

"if His grace is an ocean we are all sinking,

and heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,

and my heart turns violently inside my chest,

i don't have time to maintain these regrets

when i think about the way....

oh, how he loves us."

it is quite providential that this was the song i was humbled during,

because i had just seen them in concert two nights before.

oh the way our Father works.

anyways,

the next few days i spent sharing this with those around me,

and really beginning to seek out the LORD and his plans.

on monday morning i was able to release the anxiety of looking for the $$ bag,

and really move on from it.

and that is when......