she is worth it.

Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.
let's be real honest,  who wants to talk about this on a social space? please no scoffing. i am sure there will be judgement, but being brave is my new years deal. so here we go. something i am struggling with right now.
my new body. first, let's be honest. all my tiger stripes & growth & change were totally worth the blessing that comes at the end. miss olive is my love. i can not get enough of her. so my new body. pre-pregnancy i loved to work out. i enjoyed all the side effects. sore muscles. toned body. clothes that fit. endorphins post workout.  i didn't mind watching what i ate. being aware of what i was consuming. knowing when i might need to hit the gym harder. realizing when i was intolerant to certain foods. not always eating what everyone else had.  ya know, discipline. post baby O none of this is true. going for a walk seems to be a chore. eating is a task in itself. if i do have a moment to grab food  it has to be quick, filling & easy. exclusively breast feeding makes me famished & thirsty 24/7. so to say that i am struggling is accurate.
my jeans don't fit. i gained 38lbs while pregnant. 28lbs fell off with delivery & baby O. the last 10lbs are stuck around my booty/hips/thighs.  honestly. all i want is to wear a pair of jeans. a pair of MY jeans. i'm legging-ed out. skirt-ed out. blah. now don't get me started on shorts either. ha. do they even make shorts anymore? i want something mid thigh, maybe closer to the knee. a cute bermuda short. but it seems too much to ask for. all the "shorts" i can find show a bit too much back there, if you follow. so. i guess for now i will love put up with leggings.
so here i struggle. with a bachelors degree in health & wellness. more knowledge than i know what to do with. i know exactly what needs to be done. i am my greatest ally & enemy. but. to begin is always the greatest hurdle.  whew.